The Fortune Cookie
The theme for the Cub Scout Blue and Gold Banquet this weekend was Chinese New Year. We had terriyaki chicken and fried rice and everyone got a fortune cookie. This was my fortune:
The first thing you will notice is that it's not even a Chinese proverb it's German. How you get a German Proverb in a Chinese fortune cookie is beyond me. I am beginning to even wonder if this cookie even came from China. Secondly who has ever heard of a German proverb? I am from German decent and did I do not recall my Grandmother ever telling me about the great German proverbs.
And what of the proverb itself? don't even get me started on this......"no trees ever reach the sky"????? What exactly is the message they are trying to convey. I think the message is quite clear: Don't bother trying you will never be able to do it. How does such a distraught and hopeless message ever become such a famous German Proverb that the Chinese are writing it small slips of paper and shoving them in cookies? And better yet how does this cookie land on my plate?
Well you see it is destiny, for many years I have shared these exact same sentiments. I have long held a dream close to my heart which I have only shared with a few close friends. And the truth is this.... I dream of becoming a non-motivational speaker. I dream of professing the very wisdom as written in this strange and obscure note I found this afternoon in my cookie.
For you see the world is riddled with those motivational speakers who constantly push us all to our limits. Testing our wits and ability to sustain stress in our lives. Push, Push, Push, You can do more, fast and better. This evil must be undone!
So in order to achieve my goal I am sure I must write some clever book in order to achieve fame so I can go on my speaking tour. My plan is to have them roll me out on stage while I lounge on a couch in boxers and wearing a wife beater T-shirt. Classy huh?
You may ask why the couch? While you see when I look back upon my life and attempt to figure out where things started to go wrong; I seem to always be able to trace it back to a singular point in time. That moment in time is the first mistake in what is usually a long line of mistakes. And the first mistake my friends was when I got up off my couch. I challenge anyone of you reading this blog today to think back to an unpleasant couch moment in your life. You can't can you?
I would like to leave you today with one more non-motivational thought as I conclude this entry. And that is: If you ever feel the urge to exercise, I strongly recommend you lie down on the couch and wait for it to pass. It always works for me.
MAX IS NINE
Max had his birthday party at the Sports Emporium this weekend. Max and eight of his friends played laser tag and video games for an afternoon. They also got to eat plenty of pizza. All the kids got to pick nicknames for themselves for the laser tag game. I got to play with the kids too. My nickname was "Stinky." Max was Mac which is what one of the soccer coaches call him at practice. I think the coach is trying to say Max but it comes out Mac or Mack most of the time with his Irish accent.
Here is a picture of Max in his battle gear with chocolate frosting still all over his chin from the pre-battle feast. We got to play four games and the kids had a great time. I was wiped out after the second game but somehow managed to get through it. They divided us into two teams - red and green. The other team had a few adults and teenagers on their team and they beat me and the eight and nine year olds in four straight games. We had fun anyway. Max got a lot of cool presents for his birthday. We got him a new bike as he had grown out of his old one already. He also got roller blades and Guitare Hero III for the x-box. We will get to spend more time on the bikes and blades in the spring but right now its been a Guitar Hero week. Me, Max and Jake play a lot in the evenings after dinner and homework are done. We are getting better at it every day.
Spring is right around the corner and I am going to be coaching Jake's baseball team again this year. Last year we only had six year olds on his team but this year we will have seven and eight year olds together. It will be his first year of coach pitch. This weekend Max and Jake both have baseball tryouts. I will have to watch the players try out. Sunday afternoon is the draft. I will have to draft the kids on Sunday. I think the boys are all looking forward to baseball. Max will also play spring soccer with his team from last year. Lots of running and sports are coming up. It has been nice to take the winter off from that craziness.
Where did the Unti's go.....
Max and Jake got an Xbox 360 from Santa and with my obsessive compulsive behavior we got quite caught up with it this past month. No time to blog as my spare time was spent practicing to keep up with the boys. We play a lot of NBA basketball and Madden 2008. Sometimes there is quite a bit of trash talking and someone ends up angry or in tears, myself included.
Just as I was recovering from the Xbox obsession someone e-mailed me
Desktop Tower Defense. I became completely obsessed with obtaining the high score. I suggest you do not click on the above link.
Anyway this past weekend was a particularly bad weekend for Max. We had Pinewood Derby with the Cub Scouts this weekend and Max's car was not as fast as Jake's. Jake made sure Max was well aware of how fast his car was. Jake won his den race and made it to the Pack finals. He finished 9th out of 10 spots in the finals which Max made it a point to remind Jake that he nearly came in last in the final races. Despite the in fighting it really was a good time and Max did end up winning a trophy for car most likely built by a scout. Jake won a trophy as well for car most likely built by a scout in his den and he also had a very large trophy for winning his den races.
Sunday was not much better for Max as he has become a die-hard Patriots fan. When he plays Xbox he is always the Patriots. Half way through the first quarter of the Superbowl he tells me that he had a bet with a friend. It seems that he had worked out a deal that if the Patriots won he would get $1 and if the Giants won he would have to pay out .50. As we had friends over I felt it was not the time to discuss this in much detail with him. We definitely do not want to encourage him to place bets on sporting events! He was allowed to stay up and watch the entire game. As the last pass sailed out of reach of the receiver Max burst into tears and stormed out of the room. We had a talk after the game and advised him against betting but encouraged him to be a man of his word and make good on his wager. The next morning I got up and came down stairs to find him at the kitchen table attempting to eat a Pop Tart with tears streaming down his face. He was still upset about the game. We again discussed how it was only a game and again how he should not be betting on sports. I think he was concerned with the trash talking he was going to get from his friend more than losing the fifty cents. Anyway I can only hope that he has learned some sort of lesson from all of this.
Vangie and I had an enjoyable weekend. It was one of those rare weekends when we get a baby sitter and get to go out alone. We attend the Chocolate Ball in Hershey. I was forced to wear a tux to the event but still managed to have a good time. The Chocolate Ball is an event to benefit Keystone Human Services. Our seats were courtesy of Vangie's employer. We had a great time at the event.
