The Fortune Cookie
The theme for the Cub Scout Blue and Gold Banquet this weekend was Chinese New Year. We had terriyaki chicken and fried rice and everyone got a fortune cookie. This was my fortune:
The first thing you will notice is that it's not even a Chinese proverb it's German. How you get a German Proverb in a Chinese fortune cookie is beyond me. I am beginning to even wonder if this cookie even came from China. Secondly who has ever heard of a German proverb? I am from German decent and did I do not recall my Grandmother ever telling me about the great German proverbs.
And what of the proverb itself? don't even get me started on this......"no trees ever reach the sky"????? What exactly is the message they are trying to convey. I think the message is quite clear: Don't bother trying you will never be able to do it. How does such a distraught and hopeless message ever become such a famous German Proverb that the Chinese are writing it small slips of paper and shoving them in cookies? And better yet how does this cookie land on my plate?
Well you see it is destiny, for many years I have shared these exact same sentiments. I have long held a dream close to my heart which I have only shared with a few close friends. And the truth is this.... I dream of becoming a non-motivational speaker. I dream of professing the very wisdom as written in this strange and obscure note I found this afternoon in my cookie.
For you see the world is riddled with those motivational speakers who constantly push us all to our limits. Testing our wits and ability to sustain stress in our lives. Push, Push, Push, You can do more, fast and better. This evil must be undone!
So in order to achieve my goal I am sure I must write some clever book in order to achieve fame so I can go on my speaking tour. My plan is to have them roll me out on stage while I lounge on a couch in boxers and wearing a wife beater T-shirt. Classy huh?
You may ask why the couch? While you see when I look back upon my life and attempt to figure out where things started to go wrong; I seem to always be able to trace it back to a singular point in time. That moment in time is the first mistake in what is usually a long line of mistakes. And the first mistake my friends was when I got up off my couch. I challenge anyone of you reading this blog today to think back to an unpleasant couch moment in your life. You can't can you?
I would like to leave you today with one more non-motivational thought as I conclude this entry. And that is: If you ever feel the urge to exercise, I strongly recommend you lie down on the couch and wait for it to pass. It always works for me.
posted by The Pants @ 6:19 PM
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